Sister Gilby's Sayings

City of Tranquil Light Bo Caldwell

2012-01-27T10:14:00.000-08:00

Exotic locations, adventure, earthquake, kidnapping, murders, bandits, government upheaval, romance, and a powerful message that cuts to the heart; if that sounds interesting than you’ll love this book, I know I did. Edward Geisler, a Mennonite Missionary to inland China, shows up at Will’s family farm in Oklahoma in 1906. He’s there to speak to their church about the need for missionaries in China and after talking with Will he invites him to go there with him. He tells Will that “The suffering is great, as is the need for help, physical and spiritual.” Will, who is 21 years old, struggles with his decision and yet leaves everything and everyone he knows to go where he feels God, is calling him. In China, Will finds a dangerous dark place, the Mandarin language is hard to learn, every day life is difficult, but he also finds love for the people and the villages and towns where he travels, and for Edwards’ sister in-law Katherine, a nurse who has traveled with them.

The story is told from two viewpoints: Will’s memories and Katherine’s journal entries. It is based on the author’s maternal grandparents, and many other missionaries that went to China. Beautifully written, it grabbed my heart and spoke to my soul. There are so many good quotes I could have underlined the whole book. One of my favorites is when Edward, looking back on his life there, tells Will “To love a place. To hold it so dearly that one aches at the memory of it. Are we not most fortunate.” I read this novel on my kindle, and have to say it is one I’ll read again.

Backyard Finch

oils on Cigar Box lid

Art by John Barrett

My Word for the Year

2012-01-16T16:00:00.000-08:00

My word for the year is life. I've been reading articles about choosing one word that resonates with you for the year, well life is what I choose, but let me tell you it's hard when so many people I've known and loved have passed away. I feel like I need to say it out loud "I choose to keep on living", regardless of the grief, in spite of the inner-pull to not care, in spite of the doomsday predictions of Apocalypse and the Mayan calender. I want to live joyfully, abundantly, to continue to find things that are funny in the obsurd. Speaking of that, I kept thinking that the anniversaire of my mom's death was on the 19th (a few days from now), so I spent the morning looking for a picture of her to post. She was someone who lived life fully, traveling all over the world, making friends out of strangers, speaking her mind even when it would cause conflict because she could see the bigger picture and wanted the best for others. After going through many albums I came across this picture of her in the Holy Land, her first trip there; and she went without a traveling companion.

Under this picture she wrote the word Allelujah!

I have to smile when I see this picture of her and Sammy the camel with her friend Ali the Bedouin. Anyway back to today, we drove into town and on the way home John asked me if I wanted to stop by her grave. As we cleaned the headstone, he pointed out laughingly that today (not the 19th) was the anniversaire of her death...hmmm....then I looked around and saw ciggarette butts scattered by the grave where she and my step-father are buried and it was just like they were having a smoke together in the old days. Here's to a new year full of promise and life and joy ;-)

Love Has Its Ups and Downs by Bonnie Rice

2011-09-23T11:19:00.000-07:00

Bonnie Rice is writing from the heart about being married to a husband with Bipolar disorder and what it takes to stay married and raise a family in the chaos of the illness. She deserves much credit for putting this together in such an honest, concise and practical way. This is one of those books that I had to stop myself from underlining the whole thing; there is just so much good advice for living with someone with Bipolar illness, and I should know because my mother had it and I became her emotional caretaker until the day she passed away. I wish someone would have written this book earlier; it would have made my childhood and adulthood a little less stressful. In the very least it would have given me some perspective. I didn’t learn some these things until later in life. Saying that, still Bonnie gave me a few “Ah Ha” moments: for example, when the person with Bipolar illness says something mean and hurtful: to remember that it’s not about you—it’s about them. Another one was that “Bipolar affects memory.” There is nothing more frustrating then to be the one still reeling from a manic episode while the Bipolar acts like nothing happened.

Love Has Its Ups and Downs is a great reference book for anyone who has a relationship with someone with mental health issues, and those who want to understand Bipolar illness. Bonnie uses humor in some places to illustrate facts, and her end of chapter questions and worksheets are very helpful. In one of the questions she asks you to remember a funny thing your Bipolar family member said: here’s a classic thing my mom said the first time I talked to her about boundaries, she said, “Boundaries are meant to be broken that’s how new countries are made.” In hindsight it’s funny, at the time not so much. This isn’t a one size fits all manual for marriages surviving Bipolar illness, but it is a starting place to help understand the necessity of boundaries, team support and putting together a workable plan for the health of yourself and your family. 5 stars. I read this on Kindle.

Dragonfly Summer

2011-09-18T12:31:00.000-07:00

I spent this summer trying to reclaim some of the feeling of my childhood summers. I placed a pool in the yard and floated, looking up at clear blue skies feeling the sun heating my skin, smelling the fragrance the earth gives off in mid-day. Yes I had sunblock on and a hat on my head that covered my face--an nod to old age and too many early years in the sun--but those quiet moments rejuvenated my body and mind.

Visitors were few, John painted his canvas's and Pretzel, not wanting to swim with me, sniffed the blue rubber sides of the pool and skittered away when I splashed him. Only one stayed to languish in the noon day sun, an orange dragonfly, who fed my spirit with the glory of God's creation.

"Nature is the living, visible garment of God." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The Language of Flowers Vanessa Diffenbaugh

2011-07-22T11:37:00.000-07:00

Vanessa Diffenbaugh’s novel The Language of Flowers is the best fiction I’ve read this year. So good that I didn’t want to stop reading it, I’d tell myself just one more chapter and then get upset because I didn’t want to leave her character, Victoria, without finding out what happened next. From the opening chapter, Victoria’s story grabbed me emotionally. The beauty and the tragic realness of her character, the way she interacted with the people in her life, her heartbreaking hopefulness and self-sabotaging behavior kept me wishing that someone would see below the surface and bring healing to her wounded soul.

Victoria Jones is 18 and aging out of foster care in San Francisco. She is angry and hurting from being raised in the system. She has gone from house to house and group home to group home where her need for love and family were not met. At 10 she finds her best chance at adoption with Elizabeth, a woman who lives alone on a vineyard. She teaches Victoria about grapes and the names and meanings of flowers. It is the meaning of flowers that Victoria grabs onto and this language from the Victorian era helps her navigate through life.

I read this advanced readers copy through the Amazon vine program and can’t wait until it comes out in August 2011 so that I can buy copies. It’s a perfect gift, because it appeals to so many people: anyone who loves children, those who care about what’s happening to our marginalized kids, social workers, foster parents, mental health advocates, or gardeners, lovers of flowers, florists, wedding planners, midwifes and young adults. The list is long but there are probably more types of readers who would like this story. 5 stars, wish I could give it more.

One Summer's Day

2011-06-22T12:07:00.000-07:00

A Day in the Garden

Flitting to and fro a marble sized bumblebee dusts a bright golden poppy,

Nearby two orange dragonflies perch on wind swaying branches.

Atop the sun bleached wooden fence a tiny black cat with a red collar slips through a ever widening crack

She spots me and turns back, but not before I notice her belly and know that she has kittens hidden somewhere.

I call her back, “come kitty kitty” there are nice little gray field mice scurrying below your soft padded feet.

She pauses hunched, and leaps to the other side “Not today” she seems to say, “Not today.”

Sitting by the fountain, I stare at green feathered hummingbirds drinking nectar and sword fighting above my head.

Later in the afternoon, the sun makes its way west and I return to sit on the garden bench breathing in the scents of honeysuckle and blackberry blossoms.

In the distance, among the Irises I see a fluffy gray tail waving like a flag,

My neighbors cat Charlie, stalking gophers, patrolling borders, snacking on field mice.

In Memory of Nicole

2011-06-02T12:13:00.000-07:00

Dr. Christensen was 34 when he started the mobile medical unit in Arizona to help homeless youth. The hospital on wheels, actually a van that needed more than a little tweaking to work, was donated, but getting it functioning and stocked was an exercise in patience. Luckily he had great people on his side, including Jan Putman, a no nonsense nurse-practitioner, and his wife Amy, also a doctor, who understood him putting in long hours. Ask Me Why I Hurt: The Kids Nobody Wants and the Doctor Who Heals Them chronicles the beginning of the mobile medical clinic, the kids they saw over those first years, and how working with them affected his family life.

Try to imagine being dropped off on the street as a teenager. You have no money, no place to live, no job, and no way of getting help because you don’t have a valid ID to prove who you are. Now add on lack of coping skills because of childhood abuse or trauma. You are sick because you ate food people threw away; you are exposed to the elements, and exploited by mean people who prey on kids like you. You have been injured and beat-up and you need to see a doctor, but you don’t have health insurance and the county medical services can’t help you without an ID and some type of contact number or address.

This is reality for thousands of kids in every State. Some of these kids ran from abusive homes, some have mental illness, some have lost their parents, some are struggling with addiction and some have aged out of foster care. They don’t have family to count on, they don’t have a support network or mentors and they don’t have a voice in our political process. You may not see them in your neighborhood or you may not recognize that they are homeless, but they are out there hurting. We may not be doctors that can physically heal them, and yet we can do our part. They need us, especially our voices and votes for compassionate change.

I couldn’t put this book down, the stories of the young men and women jumped off the page, and so did the stories of Dr. Christensen’s fellow workers and his family. The chronicle of Nicole really touched me; a beautiful homeless young woman with mental illness languishing on the streets year after year not getting the help or the medications she needed to become whole, made me weep. The courage of these kids, even when everything was against their survival, gave me hope.

I didn’t know anything about Dr. Christensen before receiving this book through the Amazon Vine program. I hope he’ll continue to publish more about his work with the homeless youth. 5 stars ;-)

UnPlanned by Abby Johnson

2011-05-25T11:35:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading a great book, an honest memoir that tells the story without trying to justify every action the person took during that part of their life. It is what it is. Abby Johnson’s book Unplanned is the story of a life changed by God in answer to prayer. Here’s my review:

The word abortion polarizes people—you are either for it or against it. A line drawn in the sand; a fence metaphorically and literally that forces you to choose sides. It effects all aspects of life; personally, politically, monetarily and spiritually. Unplanned shows us both sides: an inside look by someone who has been on each side of that fence.

By the time Abby Johnson started college she knew she wanted to help women in crisis. During her junior year, at a volunteer opportunities fair at her college, she met a woman from Planned Parenthood that showed her how she could do just that by volunteering for them. Abby wasn’t so sure about the abortion part, having been raised in a Christian home, but she was reassured by talk of all the other things they offered women, such as preventing pregnancies. With the hope of making abortion rare she signed up.

This is her story of going from volunteer to being the Director of a Planned Parenthood Clinic; it is an honest look at her journey, and a revealing look at the secret she kept from her family and even from herself. It is also an illuminating look at the pro life members on the other side of the fence: good and bad. How Abby Johnson crossed over to eventually join the Coalition for Life was a miracle years in the making. I highly recommend this intriguing book, and also Won by Love by Norma McCorvey who is the woman who was Jane Roe of Roe vs Wade.

Pretzel

2011-05-19T15:25:00.000-07:00

Hi ;-)

Huck by Janet Elder

2011-05-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

Michael Elder had pleaded with his parents for years to get him a dog—but the answer was always no. “No you are too young, no we live in an apartment in New York, no we are too busy to care for a dog.” His mom, Janet, had these reasons and more and his dad Rich always agreed. Still Michael tried many times to prove how important it was for him to have a dog. When he was 11 years old the family took a trip to Italy and even then, they pointed out how hard it would be to travel if they had to care for a dog. It was during this trip that Janet saw something that made her reconsider her “no dog” stand. After returning home she discovered she had cancer and again her thoughts about getting him a dog became more favorable, even if it was “just for something” to look forward to.

Huck, a 5 pound red poodle puppy joined their family in November and they were smitten with the little guy. In March, as Janet felt better, they decided to take a trip to Florida and leave Huck with her sister’s family in New Jersey. The family loved dogs, had a fenced yard, and it seemed like a perfect fit. It worked out for the first day and then Huck ran away.

Reading this book about how all these strangers put their effort into finding a little lost puppy, brings back faith in human kindness and shows the compassion of neighbors in small towns. It is a page turner that I couldn’t put down, and it had me asking how far I would go to find a lost dog. This is a good story for all ages.

In Praise of an Empty Nest

2011-05-08T08:33:00.000-07:00

Well here is the first baby to leave home. They both were gone the next day, and in the following days they have come back to our yard to visit. Isn't that just like kids ;-) Happy Mother's Day.

Baby Doves

2011-05-04T13:36:00.000-07:00

Just in time for Mother's Day we finally have some baby doves. The basket condo worked ;-)

Okay, so they have faces that only a mother could love, but these 2 cuties were years in the making.... Happy Mother's Day from our family to your's.

Easter Doves part 3

2011-04-22T11:00:00.000-07:00

Easter is the story of resurrection and new life. In past Easter’s I have told you the saga of the Dove’s who try to nest in our grapevine; every year they build their nest in the crook of the vines’ old wood and the post that is part of our patio cover. It’s not sturdy or protected enough, so each year the nest falls apart, or the neighborhood cats pull it down with them barely escaping with their lives. One year John built a platform for them, when that wasn’t enough he made a cone out of chicken wire and tacked it on. That was better but still the cats scared them away before the eggs could hatch. This year he made a basket condo and for the last few weeks all is good. There is a tiny problem with the basket’s curve because the male dove has longer tail feathers and they are getting tweaked at the ends ;-) The female is in the nest peeking out through the slats.

Another thing that has new life in our yard is a lilac bush that has never bloomed, I think I planted it over ten years ago hoping it would cover the fence. This year it bloomed in this gorgeous color.

There is one more tale to tell about new life in our neighborhood. Awhile ago some neighbors moved and left behind their rabbits, which then took up residence across the street on our friends property. They do what bunnies do, so now we see Easter Bunnies everywhere, here are two who posed for pictures…

May you have the joy of new life...Happy Easter ;-)

Book Review: Tattoos on the Heart Greg Boyle

2011-04-17T15:58:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd add a book a review I recently posted on some other sites, the book is called Tattoos on the Heart by Fr. Greg Boyle. I loved it so much I just had to share it, I read it on Kindle so if you have one I can really share it with you. ;-)

Fr. Greg Boyle tells us in the preface that this is not a memoir and there is no narrative chronology, and it is not a “how to deal with gangs” book. Then what we are left with are relationships that matter to him with the people he has walked side by side with at the Delores Mission in Boyle Heights, the gang capital of Los Angeles. This book profoundly touches me, it makes me want to do better, to give everyone the benefit of doubt, to forgive my perceived enemies; to love more and complain less. His stories of ministering to gang members shift my perception of those around me. While reading it I find myself laughing out loud, and in the next moment crying because I care deeply about the Homies and realizing that losing someone with so much potential hurts us all. Between the lines I hear God speak, “Remember who you are, an ambassador for Christ, My hands on earth, and a light in the darkness. Don’t give up when it hurts to love, risk it….”

There is one recollection of Fr. Boyle’s that brings tears to my eyes; he is just starting out as a young priest on a trip to Bolivia. He is asked to bring Mass to the village of Tirani, where the Indians only speak Quechua and he doesn’t even speak Spanish. He knows he is inadequate to the task even with a translator, but in the depths of his hopelessness God meets him there. In this book God meets us and we are loved and changed.

I know when I’ve read something great, it’s when I start worrying about how many quotes I’ve underlined, but I’m not alone, on Kindle I can see that others have underlined excessively too. I’ll leave you with one warning, there is, ahem, a certain amount of “coarse language” and Fr. Boyle’s colorful banter with the homeboys might offend some. Don’t let the language stop you, this is a must read and I’ll be reading this book again.

Here is one of my favorite quotes " Suddenly, her shame meets mine. For when Carmen walked through that door, I had mistaken her for an interruption."

Silly Greetings from Sister Gilby

2011-01-30T13:29:00.000-08:00

Hope Rocks: A Lesson in Letting Go

2011-01-19T10:28:00.000-08:00

htthttpFor the last year I’ve been upset because my notebook computer has been glitching, and freezing, and taking forever to start up. I mainly use it to stay in touch with my family and friends on facebook—checking out what interests them, and sharing what interesting things I’ve found. I also play games and write my first drafts on it. That frees up our PC for my business and John’s art business stuff. It also limits us from getting a computer virus on the PC.

Fed up, last week I took the notebook into have diagnostic run on it and the news was bad—bad sectors, I would need a new hard-drive and then have to reprogram it. When we counted up the cost to do this, it made more sense to buy a new one. So I found one for a great price and bought it through E-bates, a program my sister told me about that gives you cash back if you use their website. Then John mentioned a friend of ours might want the other computer, because he likes to fix them and he doesn’t have a notebook. We picked up the old one, and I started removing personal stuff and non-essential programs to get it ready to send to our friend. Wouldn’t you know it, after removing everything and restarting the computer, it worked just fine! At first I wanted to kick myself for wasting money on a new one, but today I had an Ah Ha moment—if I hadn’t been willing to give it away I never would have deleted all the programs that were causing the conflict! Isn’t that like our life, we hold on to our problems, fret about them, complain about them, not willing to let go and give them to God who can clean us up, fix us and make us like new….

Here’s a little bit of hope for you: Next time your “heart-drive” is glitching, freezing up and not wanting to work right; give it away to God and other people and enjoy the blessing of a new one.

Hope rocks :-)

To learn more about Hope Rocks go to http://www.woodstocklily.com/

Pretzel's Christmas Gift

2010-12-26T12:36:00.000-08:00

Wow! What's this?

It smells good!!

Grab it.....

Mmmmmm, sniff, sniff, mmmmm....

Yea! Pig ear...yummy, the perfect Christmas gift ;-)

Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T13:57:00.000-08:00

“God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.” Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I love gifts, giving them and receiving them, finding the perfect thing to say in a card and sending them to loved ones. Then there are the gifts that God sends in unexpected ways, a clear day in the middle of rain storms arriving just in time so that you can visit with your family. Hearing from someone you haven’t seen for awhile. All those little places where God meets you and you know you are loved. This is a picture of one gift I received from God earlier this month, not packaged in red and green, but beautiful none the less.

I call this one an Angel Hawk, because the wind was blowing the feathers up like angel wings ;-)

Tonight we remember the best gift of all, that God became man and lived among us because He loved us. Merry Christmas and love to you.....

Never Enough

2010-10-31T13:17:00.000-07:00

There is something that those of us who have used drugs understand and it is this: the first time you get really high you will do whatever it takes to experience that one perfect high again. You will use more and larger doses chasing the elusive high, but it is never enough. The same thing pertains to drug money, people have this idea that all drug dealers get rich, what they don’t know is that drug money is an illusion just as much as the high the drug creates. Sure there are some dealers and smugglers that become wealthy and hang on to their money through violence and corruption, but on the whole most people in the drug world use their money to buy more drugs.

In California we are voting on legalizing marijuana and taxing it as a way to balance our budget. Proponents claim that there is so much money to be made off of marijuana that it will solve our statewide deficit. They also seem to think that it will stop the criminal activity that comes with illegal marijuana sales and distribution. Sounds like an easy answer, but if you look behind the smoke and mirrors you’ll see major flaws in this idea. Legalization would have to be world wide for it to stop criminals from robbing, maiming and killing people to sell it. As long as there is one country that wants it and can’t get it, there will be someone willing to break the law to acquire it. Also people who are loaded make poor decisions, such as driving under the influence, and stealing to get money to buy more drugs. Just look at Mendocino County, whose economy is dependant on marijuana, they allow growing pot for “personal use” and they have had an upsurge in criminal activity. Families are leaving, and users are pushing the boundaries when it comes to how much is enough: one plant, a yard full, or a warehouse is never enough.

As Californians we have tried to balance our budget in other easy ways. The lottery was supposed to help our schools and yet we are in worse shape now, shutting schools, teachers being laid off, and classrooms without basic necessities. I asked one teacher how the money is used, and she told me that she hasn’t seen the money recently; it was only during the first few years that they received small checks to help the classrooms. A few years ago we passed additional Indian gaming to bring in more cash. Where did that money go? Are we better off now?

To look deeper into the problem of legalizing marijuana, we only have to look at how the State implemented the use of medical marijuana. What sounded like a compassionate implementation of a law to give some long suffering cancer patient’s access was turned into a glorified candy store for drug addicts where anyone with an ache, pain or bout of sadness can get Dr. Feelgood to write them a prescription. The last time you had surgery did your doctor give you a handful of poppy seeds and tell you to grow your own morphine for pain management? And yet that is how medical marijuana is being handled. One reason is that some people think that marijuana is a benign drug, and yet when it is smoked or ingested it alters reality, perception, judgment and reaction times, and in some people causes paranoia. Why isn’t it being treated like any other prescription drug--picked up at a pharmacy with a legitimate prescription? And just as important, why do we pass laws in our States that go against our Federal laws? Think of our law’s as stop signs; some people are going to run them, but most will obey the law keeping themselves and others safe.

We need to stop before we make another poor choice. Let’s do the right thing this time. It isn’t that we lack money: we have some of the wealthiest people in the world living here, and we are talented and resourceful. Wouldn’t it make more sense to get rid of government waste; make better decisions on how to use what we have, and create jobs? Take it from someone who has battled addiction: the easy way always seems like the right way but in the end it is never enough.

Message from Heaven

2010-10-22T13:28:00.000-07:00

Mom was gone. My husband John and I sat by her bedside in the hospital as she took her last breath. Gone in an instant was my prayer partner, my friend and the one person who shared my sense of humor. Prayed out, cried out, numb, the following weeks I just put one foot in front of the other and went about, with check list in hand, doing what needed to be done. Memorial-check, Rosary-check, funeral-check, burial-check and then onto pack up her house; to do this item on my list I needed to find some tiny zip-lock bags to store individual pieces of her jewelry. At home I looked through our office, tearing it apart, and finally searching through a plastic cart stashed in the corner filled with miscellaneous junk. Reaching inside one of the shelves I pulled out a small flat green box and a padded envelope. My breath caught as I recognized the envelope, inside was a photo album with snapshots from my childhood—an album that my step-mother had sent the year before, one that I thought John had accidentally thrown out. Unfortunately, the garbage truck had already left by the time we realized what had happened. John had been as devastated as I was, imagining my childhood memories buried under piles of trash at the dump. No amount of apologies could take away the sting I felt each time I thought about the lost photos. Now, holding the missing photo album I remembered crying to mom about the pictures, and how she had searched through her own albums to find out if she had any copies. When she found similar pictures she sent them right away with a funny note cautioning me not to throw them out.

That was my mom going the extra mile and always making me laugh. Smiling, I looked down at the other item in my hand, the small green box, trying to remember where I had seen it before. Opening the top flap I realized it was a card, one of those recordable cards, I pushed the button and heard my mom’s voice singing “Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Pammmm, Happy Birthday to you!” I could just see mom laughing, as I sheepishly apologized to John for accusing him of throwing the album away. Somehow even from heaven she found a way to make me laugh.

This is a follow up to what I wrote in an ealier blog called loss, click on the link to read it....

mom ;-)

Beauty in Rough Places

2010-08-23T17:17:00.000-07:00

This has been an emotionally tough summer, last week a friend of ours was in a head-on car crash; fortunately she survived but is looking at three months of rehab. Standing by her bedside in the hospital I wished there was more that we could do to help her recover, but healing is in God’s hands and we just need to give her our love, time, and prayers. Two weeks ago, an old friend died; Tommy had been fighting cancer for many years and was in remission. In December, while visiting my sister, John stumbled across Tommy’s business and we were able to spend some time catching up. Good things came out of seeing him again and we are thankful, even though we had hoped to see him again, it was not to be.

This has also been a hard year for my clients and their families, one recently died: Steve was 54 years old. Many of the others are suffering health problems due to aging and chronic illnesses. My prayer list is as long as my arm. I find myself doing more ministering to their emotional needs then to their hair…It is a blessing to pray for them, but I wish that every one of them could be healed and never have to put up with a body that is no longer young and full of energy. What we cling to, is our hope in God who promised to travel this hard road with us.

I wish that everyone knew that when our life goes through these rough places, that it is only one part of the journey. An artist knows it is the dark and shadow that endows their painting with depth and contrast to bring out its beauty, so it is that in suffering we draw close to each other in those moments of grace. Sadly, not everyone knows this. At the beginning of this summer my client was murdered by her husband who then killed himself. In her early 60’s, this beautiful vivacious woman had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and was losing her energenic personality, and her husband had had cancer a few years before. On her last appointment, I spoke with him encouraging him to get all the support he would need for this dark time, I wish I had called to check on them in April or May when they were frequently in my thoughts, but I waited to long. Now I’ll never know if a kind word would have helped him through the darkness, and he’ll never know the beauty of God’s touch in rough places.

Discerning God's Will

2010-05-19T12:47:00.000-07:00

If only I could discern God’s will as easily as my dog discerns when I’m going for a walk. He can be sound asleep, in another room down the hall, and he wakes up, runs over to me, sits by my feet and starts to whine “Take me, take me, please take me.” Wiggle, wiggle, wag, wag nudge! Quietly dressing, I haven’t said a word, and yet he knows. Maybe it’s the tennis shoes, maybe he reads my mind or could it be that he has spent so much time with me that he senses what I’m doing because he knows me?

We went for that walk this morning, exploring the neighborhood and enjoying the good weather. We didn’t hurry, I stopped to smell the roses—he stopped to smell the you-know-what. He didn’t even bark at some neighbors strolling by with their little fox terrier. That in itself is a miracle.

Earlier, before our walk, I had spent time reading the Bible. In Hebrews 13:5 it says “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” I think this is what God is telling me today, “Relax. You know me; I want what is best for you. Let’s enjoy the day. I have some great stuff to show you. Don’t worry about what you see as problems. They are just lessons, and you’ll discover the answers in good time.”

Today I have nourished my spirit with time spent communing with God. I exercised my body by walking and pulling weeds, and now I’m writing and problem solving to keep my mind energized. Bringing balance to these parts of my life keeps me healthy in spirit, mind and body.

Happy Easter

2010-04-03T19:35:00.000-07:00

We have another Dove nesting on our grapevine this year, but she is so flighty (no pun intended) that she flies away everytime there's a sound or slight movement. She laid the first egg and flew off, then the next day laid another and settled in until she got spooked and flew off again. For almost a week we've watched her, then yesterday a male came by to help out, and their both sitting on the eggs....It's gonna take an Easter miracle to hatch these two little rewarmed guys, but the parents seem determined to try ;-) To read about what happened to the last Easter Doves read the post from April 2009.

More pictures from our garden. We wish you a Happy Easter.

The Path

2010-04-02T10:36:00.000-07:00

Today is Good Friday, the day when Jesus followed his path-the path his life had been leading toward, death on the cross. His death, which was the ultimate laying down of self in obedience to God's will, needed to happen so that we would be released from the bondage of sin. Jesus knew where his path would lead, yet even he felt fear and sorrow. In Gethsemane, with his disciples sleeping close by, he asked for a different path, one in which he wouldn't have to carry all the sins ever done by mankind. He prayed " My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."* In the end he took the path of suffering that was choosen for him and because of his obedience we can enter the Kingdom of God.

For over a year I have been on a path, a path through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. I know this path is part of life-the loss of loved ones and the uncertainty of where to go next. I'm trying to make the most of it, looking for joy in small pleasures, living with disappointment and not being shaped by it, and struggling against frustration when I've lost the vision of God's plan for my life. Even though it looks like the world we live in is coming apart at the seams, it is just a season, and in every season there is beauty to be found along the path. Even death isn't the end, there is more beauty up ahead.

* Matthew 26:39 NIV

Ooops

2010-03-04T19:47:00.000-08:00

Went to the Embassy Suites today to sell some jewelry at one of those "We buy everything shows" and as I was upstairs talking with the appraiser, John went downstairs to look for a mail box. 15 minutes later I walked out the door and John is upset telling me this man hit him and pushed him down! The man was yelling something about John trying to take his customers from him all week, and the manager was on the phone calling the police! I tried to tell the guy we'd only been there less than 20 minutes and that we were selling not buying, so he had the wrong person. Then we found out he was the guy running the show at the hotel! The police came and long story short the man appologized to John and me, and asked for our forgiveness; I think this was because he realized we could have him arrested or sue him and the hotel. Well this was his lucky day, we didn't press charges, we are Christians and it is lent, so we forgave him. Unfortunately for him he shook John's hand and John's been sick all week, and of course I'm on Facebook and I can tell everyone to stay away from his show ;-)

Tales of survival - Living - SanLuisObispo.com

2010-02-24T18:01:00.000-08:00

Tales of survival - Living - SanLuisObispo.com This the article that Sarah Linn wrote for the San Luis Obispo Tribune about my me and two other authors on the Central Coast. Click under Bobbe Tyler's picture and you'll see the pictures they used of us and our books.

The Novel Experience

2010-02-07T14:20:00.000-08:00

My favorite saying right now is something by Winston Churchill “Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” Yesterday I experienced my first bookstore book signing. Exciting yes: Successful no. I signed one book, only because some sweet person called in and ordered it because they couldn’t make it to the signing. I think it might have been because of the rain. Buckets of rain for days tend to dampen the spirits of us Californians. I was happy that it cleared up before we left. And I’m posting a picture of how the sky looked on the ride home… Now back to success, how am I to judge the lack of people lining up to grab a copy of Tales of the Titmouse? I sent the press releases, sent personal invitations, announced it and even the newspaper called asking for a copy to add to a feature they were doing. If you do all the right things and no one shows up do you take it personal? Nah. Well for a moment, maybe it stings, but then I added it to the list of experiences that authors go through and looked at it through a different lens. Remembering, as I sat at the little table waiting for readers to stream in, that a young woman ran up with a bouquet of flowers from my loving friend: (gulp, misting eyes) she remembered me and I felt loved.

The time wasn’t a waste; the owner of the bookstore had been reading my book and really liked it, telling me about how it brought back memories of his college days in San Francisco. And there was this homeless guy who walked up and called out “Titmouse” like he knew me, and I spent an interesting time explaining that I didn’t know Timothy Leary or Ken Keesey. When he left the table he asked a man passing by for some money by saying "Master, do you have some spare change?" The only problem was that the man didn't hear him correctly and thought he called him a Bastard! The next thing we hear is the homeless guy shouting "I said master not bastard!" Then there was the 20-something gang-guy who turned his speaker up on his cell phone to let me hear his mom read the morning headlines about his friends who had just gotten arrested for grand theft auto! He asked her proudly if they mentioned his name and in the same breath said 'No mom I'm not guilty." John’s favorite moment was the college girl walking down the street shouting rude things with an unmentionable item stuck to the top of her head and her fraternity members laughing hysterically and yelling “did you see the look on that guys face?” Novel experiences at The Novel Experience.

If I have to describe what success is, it is what God showed me this morning in church. A woman came up, hugged me and with tears in her eyes, whispered, “Look who I brought with me this morning.” I looked over her shoulder at her daughter, who I hadn’t seen in years. I went over to hug her and she said “Your book came at just the right time for me.” When she read it she told her mom it was like God spoke to her and she stopped taking the prescription drugs she’d become addicted to….success is one person being set free. This morning the scripture reading was about the disciples who had been out all night fishing and came back with their nets empty and Jesus told them to cast out their nets again. This time He filled them. God spoke to me too.

Do you see the rainbow?

Thin Places Book Trailer

2010-01-28T12:21:00.001-08:00

Revealing spiritual memoir.

Tales of the Titmouse Book Signing

2010-01-23T17:15:00.000-08:00

I will be signing books at the Novel Experience on Saturday February 6th from 2-3pm. The book store is located at 779 Higuera in San Luis Obispo. The cross street is Chorro and it's by Hands Gallery. We will also be giving away a signed print of the cover illustration.

From service dog to SURFice dog

2010-01-21T14:38:00.001-08:00

Love this awesome video....Focus on what you can do, not what you can't do.

Drawing Heaven

2010-01-11T10:02:00.001-08:00

Beautiful paintings by a young lady with a beautiful spirit.

Reflections on 2009

2009-12-31T17:09:00.000-08:00

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... is it the chants of revelers in Time Square watching the glowing crystal ball go down? No, it's the 2009 Ref on one knee, smacking the mat trying to keep me down for the count-a New Years Eve cold with all the joy a scratchy throat and snuffy nose can bring. But I won't give up, if I can just get one shoulder off the mat....too late, now it's me and Pretzel the foot warmer laying in bed watching the winter sun stream through open curtains. There is something good about laying around, I can reflect on how 2009 touched my family and friends. 2009 the year of dying, the last memories of Alice, Betty, Francis, Andy, Ed, Joan, Billy,and Melanie surface and the pain of loss is a little less-the memory of their lives a little sweeter. They have gone on to "sleep in heavenly peace", taking with them a little Parottlet named Seurat the sound of his sweet voice echoing "Bye, bye baby, bye bye." This last year brought many of us to our knees with failing markets, and failing mortgages but we adjusted and learned that what was important was the love of family and reconnecting with old friends. For me it brought another lesson time is short, and I needed to finish the project I started long ago. I don't know what 2010 will bring, but I'm happy to share it with John and all of you. Bye, bye 2009, bye bye. Happy New Year to you and yours.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-21T16:52:00.000-08:00

Christmas was my mom's favorite time of the year. She loved to decorate and no matter how tight the budget was she always made Christmas special. My sister and I inherited this love of finding the right ornament to give to each family member and friend. We're talking over fifty years of collecting and many more of memories. This year I inherited boxes of her decorations and added them to my overflowing collection. While there can never be too much Christmas spirit, one of goodwill, sharing and blessings, there can be tooooo much decorating. I needed help putting up mom's Christmas village and thankfully my sister and her husband came to the rescue. As we set up the pieces we found out that mom had made most of the shops, because they are signed and dated. The church with its stained glass windows was made by her years ago, and she gave one to each of us. The framed Christmas Tree was made by her friends and fellow parishners at Saint Williams, with costume jewelry (some from our grandmother) and tiny lights nestled on a background of black velvet. Around the house there are carolers, snowmen, and angels galore. Finally there is my unconventional manger scene-read last years Christmas blog for more on this-I now have added her Shofar, more olive wood camels from the Holy Land, and a tiny oil lamp to remind me that Jesus is the light of the world. As I gaze on each vinette and remember mom and Christmas' past, I also recall that God has given us the best gift...His Son. God bless you one and all.

Thank You

2009-11-26T08:48:00.000-08:00

Enjoy this day, not holding the sorrows of the past,

Not carrying the burdens of tomorrow.

Just know that right now we are thankful to God who created us

For family and friends who we have loved and who love us,

For those that join us at the table and those faraway,

Today we give thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T17:12:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving message.
http://vimeo.com/7710534

Book Release Revisited

2009-11-22T15:29:00.000-08:00

Aldean looking to see if I got it right :-) John made the poster ;-)

The day started out badly, I had a headache from the weather change. I worked in the morning, and as I poured peroxide into the small measuring cup the top flew off and splashed the white liquid all over my smock and half the lab! Luckily I had on a smock, and lucky I have gray and white hair because I didn't notice that as I pulled the smock over my head that some of the 20 volume peroxide deposited on the top of my hair.....Okay so I asked God to keep me humble, but really all this first thing in the morning on one of the biggest days of my life?
The Book Release was great. I don't have anything to compare it to, because I've never been to one before but we had fun. It's nice to know that something you worked on for 20 years is appreciated and better still going on to people who can use it. I'm really thankful John was there to help set it up (boxes of books weigh a ton) and that Cindy helped sell the books while I signed them. I had an awesome time reading my favorite excerpt and the questions were interesting too. Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes.....

Tales of the Titmouse One Woman's Journey Out of Darkness

2009-11-14T19:48:00.000-08:00

New Book Release Saturday November 21st, at 2:00 PM

Central Coast Author Pamela Barrett will be signing copies of her book, Tales of the Titmouse One Woman’s Journey out of Darkness, at Café Vio 1111 Riverside Ave. in Paso Robles, California. There will also be a drawing for a 8"x11" signed print of the cover illustration. For map and driving directions check the link below.

http://www.cafe-vio.com/

Tales of the Titmouse One Woman's Journey Out of Darkness

2009-11-05T16:32:00.000-08:00

By the way, I just heard that Amazon.com has the search inside feature up and running for Tales of the Titmouse. If you want to read a snippet check it out.

http://outskirtspress.com/TalesoftheTitmouse

New Book Release

2009-10-31T11:46:00.000-07:00

Do you hear the trumpet blowing? Daunt,da,da,dah! Tales of the Titmouse One Woman's Journey Out of Darkness has been published :-) You can find it on Amazon.com (check the link on this blog) if you go there please read Joan Rogers review at the bottom of their book page. You can also read about the book at my publishers(Outskirts Press) link below. It has also been listed at Barnes and Noble.com. I'm still waiting for UPS to get here with my box of advanced copies, don't you just love waiting? If your signed on to Goodreads I am giving away one signed copy in a contest that is running from Nov1-Dec1. I'll be letting everyone know where and when I'll be having book signings and publicity events. Thank you for all your prayers, keep them coming for everyone struggling with addiction and their loved ones.

http://www.outskirtspress.com/TalesoftheTitmouse

AddThis Social Bookmarking Sharing Button Widget

2009-10-09T11:21:00.001-07:00

AddThis Social Bookmarking Sharing Button Widget

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Divine Appointment

2009-10-06T16:53:00.000-07:00

Had to get up at 5:30 this morning. I wasn't a "happy camper". The electricity in my salon went out on Saturday, and the only time the property manager could get the electrician to fix it was at 6:30am. Did you know it's still dark outside at that time? Plus the moon is up too. Anyway I talked John into driving me--good thing 'cause I can't see at night!

The electrician was a nice guy. He worked with a flashlight in his mouth (did I tell you it was dark) and tried to hold a conversation with us at the same time. As he finished testing the lights he told us that he had just gotten home from taking his mom up to Stanford, she has lung cancer. He also said she's a handful, stubborn and a bit cranky. I said I could relate, having just spent 15 years taking care of my strong-willed mom, taking her to doctor appointments and trying to keep all her many doctors on the same page. Then he said his sister lived with his mom but couldn't help because she (the sister) is a drug addict and has overdosed 2 times. That opened a door for me to share with him that I was ex-addict and that I'd been out of the drug world for 28 years. I could see the disbelief on his face before he said "I would never have guessed, you don't look like you'd ever do drugs." I replied "Exactly, you never know about people, but I was a addict, a dealer and even helped smuggle drugs...and God got me out. There is always hope."
He looked around at the salon and said "Look at the life you have now, it's amazing."

Before he left I got his address--his sister will need a copy of my book, and her name will be added on to the list of drug addicts we pray for and he will be added to the list of loved ones that need somebody to lift them up when this journey gets too hard to handle alone. And I will remember that when I asked God to show me who to get my book to, to lead me and direct my path, that sometimes He asks me to get up at 5:30 for that divine appointment.

His Golden Girl

2009-09-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

His Golden Girl

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Wonderful story in Guideposts from Dean Koontz

Kseniya Simonova's Amazing Sand Drawing

2009-09-20T13:37:00.001-07:00

Martin Paris "Altered Path"

2009-09-17T17:12:00.001-07:00

In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson « WaterBrook Multnomah

2009-08-27T18:38:00.001-07:00

In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson « WaterBrook Multnomah

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Self Publishing part 2

2009-08-21T15:36:00.000-07:00

Wow, can you believe it? I cleared the legal hoop. Next step--working with the team at Outskirts Press to get Tales of the Titmouse ready for publication...that means John needs to design the artwork for the cover, while I write a short synopsis, and everything that will go into marketing, and making sure it's polished....God is taking me on this amazing journey to help more of His children to get out of bondage to drugs. Along the way remember to pray.....

Self Publishing

2009-08-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited that my stomach hurts. I'm getting closer to publishing my book. Spent some time this morning talking to my Author Representive on the phone. She liked what I wrote and really understood the work without me having to explain it. She liked the way it was written (thanks goes to my editor and also to my mom for all the polishing) and praised me for being able to take a dark subject and make it PG-13. She also knew the importance of it coming out now. We still have to jump through the legal hoops, so I have a call into a Literary Attorney I spoke to last year.... He just called while I was writing this. Gotta go.

Health Care Reform

2009-07-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

As most of my friends and family know I don't have health insurance. I have been turned down repeatedly by the big name insurance companies, although I am not sick and I don't take medications. California's major medical option for someone my age is unaffordable. As much as I would like President Obama's health care reform to pass I do not want to pay for, or support abortions. This current health care bill has added on the Freedom of Choice Act. If you want to understand what the Freedom Of Choice Act is and what this implies check out this webcast.
http://www.stoptheabortionmandate.com/

The Daily Cute

2009-07-23T19:15:00.000-07:00

The Daily Cute This is a great site for sweet and funny animal videos ;-)

Happy 4th of July

2009-07-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

In Memory of Seurat

2009-05-01T15:02:00.000-07:00

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change." Our little green rump parrotlet,Seurat, died today and our home is too quiet. His joyous sounds filled our hearts with love, and I can't bear the thought that I will never hear him say "bye, bye baby" as I leave to work in the morning. I have never known a sweeter bird. Heaven is blessed to have him......Rest in Peace.

Resurrection Day

2009-04-12T13:28:00.000-07:00

In the saga of the dove, life goes on. For 2 days I looked for remnants of the cat kill, wanting to bury her, but there was nothing but a few feathers blowing on the lawn. This morning as I prepared food for the Easter feast I glanced at the bird feeder, and there on the ground two doves were contently eating. A third close by clung to another feeder happily munching away. We've only had 3 doves visit our yard, so unless one got a new mate then the dove family lives on...Happy Easter.

Good Friday

2009-04-10T17:16:00.000-07:00

The mournful calling of a lone dove echoed in the early foggy morning. Opening my kitchen blinds I gasped; the nest was empty. Rushing to the door I saw the evidence I hoped not to see, broken eggs and feathers lay scattered on the ground. Hope dashed in the morning light. My hope that the dove family was a sign that we were out of the Valley of the Shadow of Death ended in a whimper as I cried out to John...another death...too many this year. The symbolism of last nights killing was not lost on me, last night it was Passover and the angel of death visited us again. Then, a vision of the priest at the temple in Jerusalem accepting the dove, the prescribed sacrifice for God to cleanse His people from sin. Another vision: our little dove giving her life to protect her family hoping to bring about new life, and now today, Good Friday, the day I remember that Jesus Christ died for love, to cleanse our sins. The little dove precious to God, Jesus his son precious to Him, and His beloved mankind ransomed when He laid down His Life. There is my hope, a hope that sustains me in this valley.

A Little Bit of Hope

2009-04-02T18:52:00.000-07:00

The worst thing about losing your mother is all the little things you want to share with her. Daily, since January when she left for heaven, I have caught myself thinking Mom would love this...like this picture I took today. Emily Dickinson wrote that "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul." Sometimes it takes a little hope sent from heaven to remember that even with your loved one gone, life can be joyfull...now look carefully at the little bit of hope I found outside my kitchen window. Look it's perched in the grapevine behind the angel.

"Away in a manger..."

2008-12-22T14:36:00.000-08:00

Every year I fill my manger scene with more images that bring a fuller picture of Jesus' life. It is not your normal Christmas display. I don't have a stable outside of an Inn, so I set it on a shelf beneath a light where an angel from my mom's childhood looks over the Holy Family in Bethlehem. In the background a book of watercolors painted in the 1800's of the Holy Land, give the shepherd and his flock a hillside in Jerusalem to graze on as he makes his way to see Jesus. There are gifts of Frankincense and Myrrh, olive oil from Galilee, stones from Jerusalem, water from the Jordan River, shells from the Red Sea and a worn smooth stone from the Emmaus Road. Among the gifts, there is an alabaster jar, and a wooden jar from Lebanon that holds a petrified pine cone from the Cedars that grew there. In the corner the wise men bring their camel past an Egyptian pyramid, and through a herd of African elephants.

A small olive wood cross stands silently reminding me that this is the destination of the baby Jesus, and a large square-head nail tells the story of pain our sin cost Him. At His feet a shekel points to betrayal, and next to it a widows mite reminds me that the little I have is a fortune when used for His glory.

A few years ago John added something else--green plastic soldiers in combat, a sad image of the constant fighting in the Middle East. Join us as we pray for the peace of Jerusalem and for our soldiers far from home. God Bless you and Merry Christmas.

Helpful Hint

2008-11-03T15:35:00.000-08:00

Woke up yesterday morning to find a swarm of ants in the plastic containers that we keep our cat and dog food in. We weren't happy to see them gorging themselves on the pet food we had just bought. As I put on my go-to-battle fatigues (plastic gloves and ant poison stick) I thought hopelessly about all that food the ant army had conquered. Would we have to throw it out, would we dump it in a pile and tirelessly pick them out one by one?? Then in a ah-ha moment of clarity I wondered if ants freeze. We took gallon size plastic bags and put the pet food, ants and all, in the bag and zipped it shut. Then we stuck those little creeps in the freezer. Today we dumped the food into a colander and shook all the tiny antcicles on to the ground. By golly it worked. Just thought you'd like to know.

Dry Land

2008-08-25T08:57:00.000-07:00

Six weeks ago our well went out. We use it to water our yard. It is connected to our sprinkler system, and so we've been hand watering most of the summer. Right now the once green lawn looks like the hills surounding us; gold and dry. I noticed in the backyard big cracks where the earth has dried, and the wood around the raised beds has buckled and shifted. Too much sunshine and not enough water and everything is a little scorched around the edges. The only plants that are doing well are those with deep roots; they can weather this time of drought and still bear fruit. I want to be like those plants.

This morning during my time of prayer and devotions I read: "I will pour out water upon the thirsty ground, and streams upon the dry land;" Isaiah 44:3 Lord pour out your living water, make my roots grow deep fed by your word. Help me to bear fruit in this season of drought.

Saint Paul

2008-06-30T10:01:00.000-07:00

Catholics around the world are celebrating the life of Paul for the next year, starting June 29, 2008 to June 29, 2009. It is a time of reflection and study on his many writings. He wrote one of my favorite scriptures, well really many of them, but this one is special to me.
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
Gal 2:20
In December 1981 I was in a hotel room with two men, I was loaded and had been up for a few days, and I was sick but didn't know it; for my body it was the perfect storm. I overdosed and the two men, who had been fighting with each other, walked out leaving me alone. For years I had tried to change my life, to stop doing drugs by using will power, cults the occult, my mind and anything new I heard about. Nothing worked for very long, and that day I knew I was going to die. But Jesus met me right there, in the hotel room when I couldn't breathe when I felt like my heart was going to explode in my chest and He gave me his breath and his heart and I left that room a new person.

In these chapters of Galatians, Paul is speaking about the law. The law is a stop sign that tells us this far and no farther. The law points out where we have gone wrong, but it can do nothing to save us. All those times I tried to stop doing drugs because I knew it was against the law of our country and the law that was written inside me; I couldn't do it. I thank God that Jesus is the fulfillment of the law. When He died on the cross He took all our sins, all our addictions, all the times we broke the law and gave us the power to walk away and start over. By the power of the Holy Spirit I have been set free from drug addiction for over 26 years. Now I live by faith and I am alive because God came down from heaven to live as a man; to know temptation and not give into it and to conquer sin once and for all.

Happy Father's Day

2008-06-15T13:04:00.000-07:00

May the glory of the Lord endure forever;
may the Lord rejoice in his works.
Psalm 104: 31

Last year there was only one large bloom and a couple small ones...wow, what a difference some rain makes...

The News Blues

2008-06-09T09:38:00.000-07:00

We were watching the world news and local news and it struck us again how many depressing stories there are right now. Gas is almost $5.00 a gallon, foreclosures everywhere, record amounts of people without health insurance, tornado's, earthquakes, war and rumours of war. Fear comes creeping in and hope is pushed aside. In the face of such overwhelming problems what can one person do? I know what I must do; stand fast and face fear head on. We are suffering along with alot of other people, I don't have health insurance, we didn't budget for these kinds of gas prices when we bought our house 30 minutes from my job, bills pile up, income decreases, and I know people in the service in Afghanistan and Iraq. I want to send money to China, and to other people who need food and housing, and it breaks my heart to not have the finances to do more. So when I say I must stand fast and face fear it is a reality in my life. We are in a battle to keep hope alive. To live hopefully in the face of fear. To point the way to the One that is Hope. Every time the spirit of fear comes, you must knock it down with the word of faith. Jesus conquered fear. God tells us to fear not. In Psalm 34:19 it says "A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all."

The problems that are happening in the world are real, we are effected by them in all sorts of ways, but there is a bigger picture one that includes you and me. How do we respond to our circumstances? How do we reach out to help each other? How do we become God's hands, feet, and voice? I like this scripture found in 1 Chronicles "Be strong and courageous and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord, my God is with you."

Locking Horns

2008-05-18T12:20:00.000-07:00

Last night as I watched Nature on PBS, I watched male deers fight as they were vying for position in the herd. The most dominant one crashing his huge antlers into the antlers of his competition. Although violent to watch, most battles are over with minor injuries and the dominant male claims his harem. In the Alps, where this was filmed, the rutting season ends and snow covers the hillsides. But come spring, the snow melts uncovering the few casualties of the rut. Buried beneath the snow lies the remains of two males, who have starved to death, their horns locked together forever.
As I pondered this grizzly scene I remembered my step father saying to me as we fought about something long ago "You don't want to lock horns with me!" Even then I knew it had something to do with butting heads. But as I look back now, a new layer of meaning is uncovered--the fights, although a natural part of life, become dangerous and life threatening when we stubbornly refuse to forgive. Not forgiving keeps us in bondage until our death to the one we feel wronged by.

God calls us to forgive, as Jesus told Peter in Matthew 18:21 "Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered "I tell you, not seven times, but seven times seven." He tells us that knowing that to forgive enables us to be forgiven. Forgiveness is freedom.

Word for Today

2008-05-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

"We learn from holy scripture three points of daily, practical importance, namely that the flesh opposes the Spirit, Satan opposes Christ, and the world opposes the Father." (Gal 5,Gen 3, 1John2) from Meditations on the Song of Solomon Andrew Miller 1800's

Iris Spring 2008

2008-04-17T09:22:00.000-07:00

Capers the Otter

2008-04-14T16:31:00.001-07:00

So cute :-)

Sweet Boy

2008-04-14T15:59:00.000-07:00

Pretzel, laying down for a nap after a long walk.

The Road to Chapel Hill

2008-03-30T13:21:00.001-07:00

Loss

2008-03-28T10:24:00.000-07:00

Tragedy broke into my world like an intruder yesterday morning. Suddenly what once was, is no more. I have lost something precious to me, and my heart cowers, bruised behind my ribs. I wonder why God allowed this to happen, but I don't ask because deep inside I think I know.

This tragedy is not about the death of a loved one, or the loss of a pet, although we have lost two of our furry family in the last seven months. It is about a mistake, an accident that can't be undone. The story that led up to this loss began before Christmas when I received a card, and later a small packet from my first step-mother. My father has been married many times and this was from wife #2 who had been part of my life for over 10 years, very difficult years. With the card she wrote a touching letter telling me how much she loved my sister and I, and she also sent a picture of us holding two life size dolls-- classic 1950's. My husband loved the picture so much he made a copy of it and we hung it on our Christmas tree. In the packet were more treasures; pictures of my step-sisters and me as teens, a special one of me, on the beach, that I didn't think existed anymore. There were pictures of her grandchildren, and her over the past few decades and with two of her favorite girlfriends; both who have died, one tragically. Also she enclosed some of her creative writing, beautifully composed, and hand written.

After Christmas I put the card and packet into a Christmas basket with all the Christmas cards we received. I don't throw them out because I like to go through them one more time and pray for everyone who sent them. Then I sort through them and keep the artistic ones, the handmade ones, and those with special meaning in tubs filled with Christmas ornaments. This year I didn't get around to it until Easter, when I finally put the basket into my home office on top of a pile of boxes. Every time I walked into the office I promised myself I'd sit down to sort and pray. Yesterday morning as I went in there to get my purse before leaving for work, I glanced at the basket and it was empty. Empty? Frozen to the spot, I stared at the empty basket my mind reeling with questions, had I sorted through it already and put things somewhere else and didn't remember? Anxious, I cried out to my husband as it became clear what had happened. I tried to push the thought away, but it was no use because I remembered waking up to the sound of the trash collectors at 5:30 that morning! He came running into the room, his face registering shock as I held the empty basket up to him, pleading "Please tell me you didn't through the cards away!" We both let out a cry; feeling as if we'd been socked in the stomach. I told him what had been in the basket and he apologized over and over, trying to explain why he thought it was trash. I knew. I had put the Christmas basket where I had temporarily put a small trash basket. It didn't help things that the night before I had been complaining about how much unwanted mail came from people wanting donations sending address labels, gifts, trinkets etc... He thought I had sorted through the junk mail and left it there to be thrown out. And then there is the fact that my office is "Paper Paradise," piles of unfinished projects spilling onto every surface.

We tried to work through our feelings on the 30 minute commute to the salon, pausing for a moment of silence as we passed the dump that now housed my precious mementos. "Maybe we could stop and look through the trash? I know how I tied the bag." He said hopefully. Yeah right, the black bag that looks just like all the others, and what am I supposed to tell my client? Shaking my head sadly, I assured him I forgave him, and we went back discussing all the would haves-should haves.

I'm coming to some realizations as I reflect on this: one is that it's not about the possessions, although it hurts to lose them. I believe that God cares about what I care about and He understands when I hurt. It is about my attitude about the loss. Can I grieve without giving into depression and hopelessness? Can I allow myself to feel my feelings, get angry but not bitter? Can I be mad and not take it out on anyone or anything?

Late at night I toss and turn, reliving the shock of it all, and I know that this will continue to happen at unguarded odd moments. Then I think about all the people who have lost everything in recent fires, floods, hurricanes, and feeling their loss I pray for them. Loss does that, it brings you into the brotherhood of suffering.

One more thought comes to me as I read Matthew 6:19-21, and Jesus speaks to me as He did to his disciples long ago "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." And I am confident that even though my mementos are in the landfill; my memories of my loved ones will be with me in heaven.

Happy Easter

2008-03-21T13:57:00.000-07:00

When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all men to myself, says the Lord. John 12:32
photo from Fransican Mission Associates PO Box 598 Mount Vernon, NY 10551-0598

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14

2008-03-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

In my quiet time this morning as I read Psalm 27, I remembered the many times when I felt discouraged. So discouraged that I wanted to die, I was a child the first time I felt this hopeless and it increased as I went through my teens and twenties. No matter what I tried I just couldn't get away from feeling desperate. I'm happy now that my prayers for death weren't answered. Today no matter how hard things are I know that God is in control and that He loves me. He loves you too. I want to share with you something He revealed to me a few years ago.

This is the way of life, everyday is a story. You walk through time unaware that in this moment history is made. History is made more precious because you are in it-a participant in life.

2008-03-05T15:39:00.000-08:00

Reflections on the Cross

2008-03-03T11:14:00.000-08:00

Easter is early this year. It is time for all Christians to reflect on the cross, and it's meaning in our life. The cross is our common denominator, whether we view our cross as Catholics meditating on the Crucifix, or as Protestants rejoicing in the empty cross of Jesus the risen one. Easter is the time of year when we most clearly hear Jesus say "pick up your cross and follow me." Our cross is the one perfectly suited for us, it reminds us that we need God. Our cross is the one carried by Jesus to the foot of the throne in Heaven.

The cross is a thumbtack on the bulletin board of life, placed there by the hand of God to remind us of His love for us. The past culminates at the cross, and the present is determined by our response to it's meaning in our life.

I read somewhere that wearing a cross would be like the French wearing a guillotine around their necks. That would be true if we only viewed the cross as an instrument of torture and death, but as Christians the cross has redemptive power. It is for us an instrument of healing just like the pole with the bronze snake was for the Israelites that followed Moses through the wilderness, we look on it remembering that Jesus was lifted up on it and died so that we can live. read Numbers 21: 4-9..... Today I thank Jesus for my cross, the one he helps me carry.

Springs First Bloom

2008-03-02T15:19:00.000-08:00

Five Finger Prayer

2008-03-02T15:11:00.000-08:00

Ijust received this in an email. I had never heard this before. This is beautiful and it is surely worth making the 5 finger prayer a part of our lives.

1. Your thumb is nearest you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a 'sweet duty.'

2. The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.

3. The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God's guidance.

4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.

5. And lastly comes our little finger - the smallest finger of all, which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, 'The least shall be the greatest among you.' Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

2008-02-29T13:52:00.000-08:00

My neighbors dog, Hunter, is crying. He's not whining because he's hurt or hungry. He isn't too cold, or too hot because it is a beautiful spring day. He has everything he needs, a big yard, fresh water, and a nice dog house. He is a young dog, about a year old, and his family is trying to teach him to stay by himself for short times. He's crying because he thinks he's alone. They are coming back, but he can't see them and he feels abandoned. So, he is lonely, even though we are right on the other side of the fence.

Isn't Hunter just like us? We don't see God and so we think that we are alone, but He is here right next to us. He is all around us. God hears our cry. He wants us to be still, to trust Him and to be at peace.

Waiting on God

2008-02-25T08:47:00.000-08:00

Your walk with God is an adventure. Each day is a new chapter. Always listen for the voice of the author of your life. He knows your story. Don't give up. Just put one foot in front of the other, and if you can't do that, then wait for Him to turn the page. It's always new....

No, I am not a nun :-)

2008-02-24T10:31:00.000-08:00

My husband gave me this nickname when he first met me. His grandparents went to a church where they called each other Brother so and so, or Sister so and so. I decided to use this as a title for my blog after searching for a month and every idea I had was taken...I should have known that like Solomon said "there is nothing new under the sun."

So if there is nothing new why am I bothering to write this? Because I believe that each person has had experiences that uniquely qualifies them to share about a subject, and that each one of us can impact someones life for good. If you read my profile you know that I've been a hair designer for ages. Every once in a while I'll speak at a beauty school nearby my salon to encourage the students to enjoy their profession. I want them to see how many opportunities there are in the Hairdressing world, and to not limit themselves. I also talk to them about taking care of their health and staying away from drugs and alcohol, because I know that my industry not only opens doors to success, but also provides opportunities for self-destruction. I know from experience because I got deeply involved in the drug world while I was in beauty school and it was only by God's mercy that I got out.

There is something else I know, because I've worked with people for years I hear their heart cries. The temptation to use drugs is still everywhere. Parents who have children into drugs want to know if there is hope. Children desperate for love try to find it in a bottle, in their parents medicine cabinet, by smoking, and sneaking out with their friends. Does this sound familiar? Don't fear. There is hope, God's love is enough for everyone. My prayer for you today is that you be reconciled to God. Receive His love. Pray for your children and wait for Him to do a miracle. Children, pray for your parents and your friends that are into to drugs, don't give up. God is not slow, His timing is perfect. He is waiting to hear from you.

I want to leave you with this word from Oswald Chambers:

"Never let your sense of failure corrupt your new action."